This week was a good one.
I got in some much needed girl time. This week I shared a bottle of wine and a lot of pasta with a truly inspiring friend. Her name is Blaze and we have been close friends since our first day of college. She was the best randomly picked roommate I could ever have asked for.
Five plus years later she inspires me day after day. The marriage advice she gave back in college when I had sworn off the idea of ever getting married still speaks to me. She is a model friend to say the least.
This week we compared schedules. She is a full-time mom and I am a full-time employee. It was fascinating to hear what a day in her shoes looks like compared to mine. Her mornings are filled with spilled yogurt and cries for mama. Mine are filled with coffee, emails, and a meeting or two. The timing of her day depends on when her adorable two year-old wakes up. Mine begins the minute my alarm goes off.
Blaze, a blossoming artist, is getting back to her work after two years of raising her son. The balance between kids and work is tricky and I am thankful to see a beautiful balance all around me. I am not having kids any time soon but I am already trying to think through how this balance works. How do you stay fresh in your career to eventually go back to work? When do you go back to work? I would love to hear all of your stories. Please share away!
In the end it was fascinating hearing how different our lives are but how we can still inspire and encourage one another. I hope all of you have a Blaze in your life.
xo
{photo from Megaduluxe}
also... g o h a w k s ! !
2 comments:
Hi Ashley! Your post reminds me of something I just saw on FB "Talking to your best friend is sometimes all the therapy you need...". It was a cute post with a picture of two 5 year olds holding hands and talking. I'm so glad you and Blaze have each other!
"How do you stay fresh in your career to eventually go back to work? When do you go back to work?" These questions jumped out to me, maybe because my story is different and maybe because some of my foundational assumptions were different.
For one thing, the idea of "balance" may be a thing we long for but might actually be unattainable. I see myself still longing for it too but having not attained any sort of balance for the extended periods of time I have dreamed about--- at my age I tend to hold out for balance less and less. Other foundational words that I would personally find motivating are "passion," "pursuit," or "calling." These, I hold out for.
One's primary aim in life, if a Christian, would be to put all of heart, soul, mind and strength into following Christ. That has been the most important aim of my life. When I married your Uncle Mark, at that point, my aim became wrapped up in "our aim" to run hard towards Christ together. It has been a life long lesson for me that marriage is not two parallel paths but one shared path. Therein is much joy and much challenge. Totally worth working through that idea over the years.
Out of college, we were both poised for working in careers. Once we started our family, after 3 years of marriage, it was soon clear to me that my passion was going to be at home. We talked about our priorities and realized that for us, balancing two careers and family was going to be costly in terms of stress and strain. So Merry Doner, the Social Worker, became Merry Doner, the stay at home mom. It was a supportive role to Uncle Mark as he did the "career" thing. But we always worked as a team and fully appreciated and supported each other. And so, after almost 30 years of being based at home and volunteering in schools and at our church would you believe that in the perfect time, I got the job of my dreams? It was not in the career path that I had originally pursued--it was a job that was customized for me. It came to me. It was a gift of God, not something that I had planned...or sought.
And I will not be in this job forever because the adventure continues. My passion is to answer Jesus' call with my best friend, your wonderful Uncle Mark, and it seems if I hang on to balance, or to my idea of perfect, then I am falling off of my original and most important aim of Christ. Phil 3:12 Together, you and Justin will work out your path. And yay for the Blazes in our lives! What a gift to have honest, real time perspective from someone you respect and love.
Aunt Merry, this is so beautiful. Thank you! I love the reminder that sometimes balance is unattainable. This is so applicable in all aspects of life! Its more about following our faith and God's plan than seeking balance.
Justin and I have always looked up to you and Uncle Mark. I'll never forget our pizza date in downtown together. You two exude a healthy God centered marriage and we look up to that. I too am thankful to have a marriage where we can support each other no matter what chapter of our lives we are in. One shared path :)
THANK YOU and love you so much! xo
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